A Lonely Love Poem- 2011

Everything that I thought I knew, I know now wasn’t true.

Society would say let you go but I want to be with you.

I have never given up on love and I wasn’t gonna start now;

 But finding out it was all lies?

Turned my smiles into frowns.

I built up walls that I allowed you to shatter,

But my heart and my feelings… they don’t seem to matter.

You asked me to hide my feelings in few words or less,

So my thoughts remain inside and this is me; getting them off my chest.

I didn’t want another like my last,

And I know you shouldn’t compare present to past.

But,

It’s all just the same; every word is part of a game.

Brand new picture, same ol’ frame.

I felt you were different and maybe you are,

But I don’t know the true you just what was shown so far

Maybe it’s just me being a hopeless romantic,

I warned you when I fell in love, so why’d you panic?

If you feel the same way, let it ride

If you don’t,

Goodbye.

I mean, yes, of course I’ll cry.

But eventually my tears will dry.

The Tenth Child- Epilogue (2013)

At four in the morning on March 29th Mr. John Tyler rose from his bed to use the toilet. When he returned from the bathroom he laid back down next to his wife in their king sized bed. A few hours later Mr. Tyler was awakened by an alarm; he sat up in bed and wiped the crust from his eyes. When he could finally see clearly he noticed his wife was no longer there.

“Julia?” he asked the room.

When he received no answer he assumed she was downstairs preparing his annual birthday breakfast in bed. So he lay back down and pulled the cover up to his neck, turned on the TV to ESPN and watched First Take. An hour and a half through the show, he realized Julia still hadn’t brought him his breakfast. He looked over at their room door, and then looked back at the TV; Stephen A and Skip were arguing, as usual and Mr. Tyler decided he would look for Julia when the show ended.

The clock struck twelve and Mr. Tyler still didn’t smell any breakfast. So he hopped out of bed, put on his robe and went down the two flights of stairs to the kitchen. There were no pans on the stovetop and no one was in there,

“Julia, stop playing around. I’m too old for surprises. I could have a heart attack! Do you really want your husband dead at 40?” he said aloud. “I know what this is, you and the kids are hiding all around this house and you’re all going to jump out at me. I’m telling you all right now to come out, I just want to have breakfast with my family, heart attack free.”

He received no answer and proceeded to check the entire house. He walked to the left out of the kitchen, down the hall to the study. No one was there. Then he went down to the piano room, empty. He checked the basement, not a sound. Mr. Tyler then checked the family room, the living room, the resting room, the dining room, the game room, the pool room, the library; he even looked in all of the closets throughout the first floor and the basement. Giving up on the lower level he headed upstairs to the second floor. He checked all six bedrooms, six bathrooms and six closets, not a soul in any. He ran up the steps to the third floor, skipping the master bedroom he went to check the other three sets of bathrooms, bedrooms and closets.

“You guys have got to be kidding me, I’m supposed to be relaxing please just come out.” He pleaded. “Aha, I know where you all are.”

Mr. Tyler raced down the hall to the nursery only to find an empty crib, an empty bathroom and an empty closet. At that point he was fed up, so he grabbed the house phone and began dialing everyone’s cell phone numbers. First he called his eldest, John Tyler Jr.

We’re up all night to get lucky, we’re up all night to get lucky, we’re up all night to get lucky began playing in the distance.

He followed the sound of the ringtone and headed downstairs. When the ringing stopped, he hung up and dialed again. The song played and he traced the noise to Robert’s room. To his surprise all of the cell phones were hidden under the bed in a pillowcase. He poured the cell phones out onto the bed and a piece of paper caught his eye, it read:

Why don’t you go see how I re decorated the pool house

Shocked to see his ex- wife’s hand writing, Mr. Tyler ran down the stairs and out back towards the pool house. He tried to open it but the door was locked. Standing to the left side of the hinges there was a bat with a sticky note on it,

Try using this, it’s tougher than skulls

Without waiting another second, Mr. Tyler picked up the bat and swung it into the glass window frame; he used the top of the bat to clear the excess glass so he could climb through. When he got inside the pool house, wide eyed, he dropped the bat.

“Oh-no oh-no, Julia where are you? Please answer me.” He called out as he walked through the pool house. His heart felt heavy and his legs were weak. Splattered along the walls were long red stains. On the floor was a trail of blood, he followed it. The trail led to the shower, where he stopped at the threshold to discover, lying on the floor, eyes wide open, hair and face covered in wet and dry blood laid his wife Julia. “No, Julia, No!” He dropped down and attempted to resuscitate her. Eventually he gave up. That’s when he heard the whimper coming from the toilet adjacent to the shower; he picked up the bat and walked over. There inside the toilet was a bluish…

Creative Writing- September 2012

It was the year 3059, America and the entire world had been conquered by the IllumiNati. After fifteen generations of the pop-style IllumiNati city-state they had finally done it, brain washed everyone. With their music they preyed on any and everyone’s subconscious and who ever didn’t listen to them was shot on the spot. In each country they delivered headphones to every able bodied person, even the deaf ones.

Over in America, Sheryl was relaxing at home after a long day of shoplifting. The pop music in her headphones continuously played, each beat amplifying her desire to steal.

Then it happened.

The music stopped playing.

Five minutes went by, she stood still not knowing what to do, then she removed the head phones from her head. She started to feel a little weird. There was a need to look in her coat pocket… On the right side of the coat, eighth pocket down, she finds a map in the coat that she had stolen the day previous.

She then opened the map. It was a pretty simple map; it had a path and at the end of the path marked an X. X marked a spot. No longer feeling the need to shoplift she headed out of the store towards the X.

On the streets, nothing was out of the ordinary. The children were still torturing each other, the teenagers bashed cars with clubs and their alcoholic beverages in the other hand, and the women busy shoplifting while the men held the full jackets. She continued to follow the path. After a few blocks she hit a dead end and had to walk through the woods. Through the trees she spotted other people who weren’t wearing their headphones and carrying maps. Hmm, what’s going on. She stopped walking for a few moments. Should I continue on, this could be a set up, if I’m caught without those headphones I could die? Maybe I should turn back. She looks down at the map. I really want to see what this is, I’m going. I’m strong, I can do this. After a few deep breaths, she continued to walk.

About ten minutes later she sees a glowing red X on a building, and in the surrounding area there were the headphone less people she previously avoided…

Back in town Vernon Hotchner was searching for something new to shoplift, Stroke Her Lace steadily playing in his and every adults headset. Then there was a glitch, a high pitched sound like the noise nails make when scratching a chalkboard. That’s when it happened. Just Prance started to play; this was unusual because the IllumiNati would only play that song when they wanted to see people kill each other. That’s when Vernon and every other shoplifter grabbed anything that could be used as a weapon and began pounding on anyone…

In the woods, Sheryl and the rest of the headphone less adults were circling around the big X. Frozen. No one dared move or take a step closer to the X. Sheryl then spotted a window and through it she could see a huge computer. On the computer was the IllumiNati symbol and on the screen was the IllumiNati playlist labeled: Ohio. A green light was flashing next to some words; she took a half step closer and was zapped. There was an invisible medium voltage electric fence in place. But, she stole a glance of the words beneath the X that read,‘Wi-Fi On’ and next to that ‘Wi-Fi off’ was bashed and bent so no one could shut it down.

Sheryl thought that if she could somehow shut off the Wi-Fi then the IllumiNati would no longer be in control and maybe then America would restore Democracy. So, without thinking she lurched forward in an attempt to ‘Hop the Fence’. But the fence must have been taller than any normal electric fence because she was electrocuted to death.

That’s when Sheryl woke up gasping for air; Stoke Her Face was still playing through her head phones. She got up grabbed an empty thirty-four pocket coat and headed out to a department store.

You Don’t Know Me

 

You Don’t Know Me

 

                This tomboy. That little fast girl. Star. Punkin. Sweetpea. LexLeshay. You do not know me.

 

 

 

While you played with your rubber ducky, Barbie heads rolled around in my bath water detached from their bodies. While your mommy tucked you in at night, I rolled over on my one-person cot to look away from the plant that I slept under. While you played with your friends outside, I prepared ramen noodles in the microwave to enjoy as I did all of my homework in one sitting. While you attended soccer practice and your soccer mom watched from the stands, I patiently waited for one of parents to come visit me. While you refused to try squid for the first time, I pushed the liver around my plate to make it look as though I was actually eating it. You do not know me.

 

 

 

The little girl who was forced to wear a pretty dress for picture day, with white ruffle socks, white bows, and white gloves to match. The little girl who loved to dance but could not participate in ballet anymore, could not participate in tap class anymore and practiced the whole year but was not able to march in the Philadelphia Memorial Day parade because of someone else’s ego. The little girl raised by strangers who she is no longer in contact with, the same girl who was taught life’s toughest lessons from watching Three’s Company, Diffr’nt Strokes and The Facts of Life. You do not know me.

 

 

 

The girl who’s first encounter with a gay boy led to her first suspension because he too thought he was a girl and put his hands on her. The same girl who fought a seventh grader when the bell rang ending her third-grade year because her attitude was too positive. The girl who was bullied for not knowing how to jump double-dutch, having hairy arm-pits (not allowed to shave when puberty came at 8), nose was too big, hair was always done, hair wasn’t straight etc. The leader of her first-grade class, always on the honor roll and award winner for poetry recitations. That little girl most white kids loved to follow but ghetto kids hated. Bullied at school to be yelled at in her home later for not bringing home a B or higher. Forced to sit at the computer with Ms. Mavis Beacon after being chased by the Pitbull who always seemed to misplace his leash. You do not know me.

 

 

 

It wasn’t until the transition from a low-income inner-neighborhood predominantly minority school to the suburbs that I was even questioned about who I was in the world. There I discovered I was black, that’s when I discovered I was a girl and needed to become more feminine, when I knew I was dumber than I had been previously awarded for and most importantly when I noticed the difference in the level of education for low-income to middle-class Americans. You didn’t think a fourth grader could think that deep. Thank Ms. Beacon, 60-minutes and the lonely nights crying and praying on the one-person cot. You do not know me.

 

 

 

While most kids hung outside, I practiced ‘what would life be like if _____’ and read various books. Fully emerged into the story and taking what I learned into my own writing, I created a book. Made the paper from scratch, drew the artwork, created a title, plot and characters, got it laminated; never finished the story. A self-published, unfinished book; that is how I describe my life now. Why? You didn’t ask. You do not know me.

 

 

 

This whole piece is about how you do not know me. So why are you still reading? Is it because you are learning a few things from the few sentences I gave you? There is no narrative here. The story is still unwritten but you never ask, do you actually, really want to know me? Take a moment here to ask yourself. If not, stop reading and remember that you do not know me.

 

 

 

If you are still reading at this point, you are obviously ready for The Long Story Short (TBR: September 1st, 2017)

 

Potentially Powerful

Young women, it is not your duty to rescue him. Young lady, it is not your duty to rescue him!

Hey girl… it is not your duty to rescue him.

There is potential in almost everyone that you meet. Almost everyone has the potential to be great and do positive things on any different level in life but this does not mean that you will be around to witness it let alone be the one to lead anyone to it. Especially a man. Why are you still waiting on potential? Girl let me tell you how much time I’ve wasted waiting around for a man to realize his potential and change up. I can tell you, and you’ll still waste your time because that’s just the way that faith works. Your belief in that man’s potential could be used in another area of your life, but who am I to tell you what to do? I see the potential in you too but am I going to lead you there?

Maybe so, likely not. Take a step back and revisit that.

Potentially Powerful 2

 

For those who believe in a higher power: Trust and know that you are being tested. Have you not learned from your own lessons in life that it is necessary for tough (and easy or medium) lessons to take place in order to cause the needed transformation in a being? Have you not learned to understand karma and its ways? Just to let you know, when you do bad, that bad can be done unto you or someone close to you, when you do good that good can be done unto you or someone close to you; when you play God, you will be taught that you are mortal; when you block a learning lesson in someone’s life, you will be forced to learn a new one in yours… do you understand this? There may be more to it, but did you understand that? Stop trying to control things that are out of your control. Especially the potential in men. Just as you are learning, so is he. Just as you must learn one thing from this person and the next thing from the next person, so must he. Just as you are destined for this thing and he is destined for that. This is life. It was designed and created for you before you were even granted life as a gift. Do you understand that there is someone (something) guiding you to where you need to be just as he/she (it) is doing the same for him?

If so, why are you still waiting on potential? Take a step back and revisit that.

 

For those who believe they are the higher power: Girl, you have a mighty power in this world, a way with words, maybe your aura has changed peoples’ energy around you, maybe your smile lights up the room, maybe you even walk on water and maybe you bleed gold. One thing you are not capable of is leading a man to his destiny. Being that you have embraced your power, whatever led you to that is most likely doing the same work in him. It is going to be the man who raises himself up and determines what his future will be. Not you. Do not wait around while he drains you of your power, to empower his.

Sis, why are you still waiting on potential? Take a step back and revisit that.

 

For those who believe in nothing: If you believe in nothing then why is it that you believe he even has potential?

Why are you still waiting on something you do not believe in? Take a step back and revisit that.

 

Potentially Powerful 1

For those who love metaphors: Imagine you are in the middle of the ocean. Stuck and treading water. You see a ship out about 1,200 feet or so away. A buoy rocking in the ocean 1,900 feet away. An island 1,400 feet away. Are you swimming to the ship, the buoy or the island?

The ship is the man you want to be with (the man of your dreams, the one with the potential), the buoy is your backup or go-to, and the island is your deepest self. I’ll ask again, are you swimming to the ship, the buoy or the island? Be honest.

Sure, you could take your chance at attempting to swim over to the ship but the ship is also sailing, how fast can you swim? Is the ship captain going to notice or see you in the water? How many sharks are in the water? What’s the tide like? Is the wake going to drown you? How salty is the salt water? How thirsty and tired are you? How strong is your will to get to that ship regardless of what is thrown your way? Just a few things to think about before you attempt at swimming towards that ship.

Potentially Powerful 3

 

Now, regarding the buoy, it is close. Looks safe because you’ll be out of the water and able to rest your limbs for a little while, you may even feel safe from whatever it is in the water but the buoy is temporary. How hot is it outside? Is the buoy large enough to ensure that you are protected from whatever lurks in the water? Could you fall asleep on the buoy and not drown to death in your sleep? Is there something else occupying the buoy? Just a few things to consider before you decide to settle on the buoy.

 

Potentially Powerful 4

Now, the island, the island is far right? I agree, but if you originally chose to attempt at catching that ship… is it really that far? Are you willing to put in the same effort to get to that island that you would’ve put in to get to that ship? Are you willing to take the chance, the same chance you were willing to take hopping onto that buoy? Do you have faith and see the potential in what may occur when you make it to the island, explore it and rest upon it?

Potentially Powerful 5

 

Why are you still waiting on the potential you see in other’s when it is your potential that needs your faith? Take a step back and revisit that.

 

 

*This piece was inspired by a conversation with my mentee ‘MvdiFv’

Happy Birthday Jesus! (12/25/16)

O Heavenly Father hallowed be thy name and the Savior of all hath won the game.

Playing for keeps of the souls of mankind, although written in will some will be left behind.

You gave yourself to God to be sacrificed for our sins and while we fight worldly ways you wish us to win.

Today is your birthday and we all celebrate with fellowship, giving, thankfulness and grace.

Together with our family and loved ones turning a blind eye to the hate, that has consumed the world around us but no one will debate.

Happy Birthday Jesus! I shout from my lungs. Giving praise unto you with the lyrics I have sung.

While naysayers declare today is not the actual day of your birth, all that matters to me is the compassion and forgiveness you’ve shown us on Earth.

Happy Birthday Jesus! I say to myself, alone and whining about the distance between my family and why I am never home.

Even on your birthday do you still continue your work in me ensuring that the wounds are healed and continuously easing hurt.

Even on your birthday do you continue to challenge faiths and because of that I am forever thankful to be filled with your grace.

Happy Birthday Jesus!