Although they say she was never mean,
I was chastised and taunted for being lean.
I hid my emotions in the back of the closet
Instead of love, I received cash deposits.
The shots of vodka I was offered each tear.
Hiding the pain from her out of fear.
I needed someone to love me back,
I need someone to love me like, that.
Still, today love is so far away
and still, silent in these situations I stay.
She taught me that this is what love is.
She taught me to only share my business.
Not what led to the decisions.
But only what can be sensed through vision.
That crying was the only way to release the tension
But to make sure to be silent off in the distance.
And still they say she was never mean.
Yet they do not know for they have not seen;
She taught me love is, when you’re belittled.
Love is not, warm bodies at 2am and cuddled…
She taught me a level of emotional intelligence
that I have discovered to be parental negligence.
And still today I accept all of these,
this is the meaning of love shown to me.
When he is emotionally distant and hidden from me,
I walked through the closet door just to see,
the loving and kind ingenuity,
so explicitly he has expressed it to me,
by fornicating in the closet with Ms. Becky,
at least he will return and sleep next to me.
See I was taught that hurt and pain,
come in this way but to remain;
Unmoved in your current position,
because it’s familiar unlike new transition.
Yet, I taught myself to focus on each intention.
The way I became newly licensed in Prevention,
it’s how I avoid negativity and paying it attention.
I decided that with the gift of God’s vision,
that I would include love in every decision,
that from here on out i’d walk in his divine mission.
He has taught me that love is forgiveness,
that love is still loving past ignorance.
I know now that when my spirit speaks, I listen.
When following my guide my aura will glisten.
And when anger, jealousy and hate attempt at division
to call upon the grace of his begotten son
and with steadfastness and perseverance my war will be won-
The pain from the trials made me a whole woman.
No longer will the emotionless leave me in ruin.
I am aware of all that I am today
and I would not be here had I not bowed to pray.
I forgave her for not knowing what she’d done,
I forgave her for forcing me to be the strong one.
I thank her for all of the tough lessons,
for they have paved way for many blessings.